The human zoo wipes it's ass in the comment section.

Great advice that can be given to writers and game designers: don’t read the comments.

It doesn’t matter how genius or enjoyable the product you are producing is, somewhere out on the internet is a pathetic troll who has nothing else to do but spew negativity in the direction of your creative process.  These sad, lonely, and frustrated creatures mock and point fingers and would rather rip things apart instead of actually ever producing anything of worth. 

I knew I should have taken my piercings out first. 

I knew I should have taken my piercings out first. 

It took me far too long to learn to stop looking to see what the new filth was shit-flinging into comment fields.  It took almost all the way until now to figure out that I am more likely to be productive smashing my genitalia against a keyboard in the attempt to recreate the works of Shakespeare than I would be skimming through the digital shit stains looking for a single note of productive criticism.

One of my greatest friends, Jeff, showed me something that really put the world of digital commentary into perspective. Go to any online source that allows people to leave commentary on music.  Search for some of the most world shaping musicians of all time, people who have literally changed culture forever, and check out the 1 and 2 star reviews.  Jeff told me there would be people shitting all over these musicians, and I did not believe him. I didn’t believe that some of the most influential people in the world (most of which who’s music predates ready access to the internet as we know it) was dealing with the verbal fart-flames that most posts get.   But behold… people were lambasting artists that changed the world.

To just drive the point home, I’ve taken some of the prize jewels from Amazon.com as feedback on some of the most influential albums from the most monolithic musicians of all time.  I did have to cherry pick a little but it was because some of the most vile and repulsive responses were far too long to include in this thread. So writers, artists, and game designers… the next time someone flatulates their hatred at your project remember that even some of the most influential and best artists in the world have to deal with people who communicate in a way that is much closer to sea sponges  than humans.

Commentary is taken directly from reviews without any editing, and, the items that were taken were not rarities or exceptions.  In most instances I didn’t bother reading below the 2 star reviews before I gave up on humanity as a whole. That being said sit back, grab some popcorn, and welcome to the show that is the human zoo.   


Beatles – Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band – 2 Star Review:   “While it can be argued that this album may have proved to be the major catalyst for the flower power generation. As far as I am concerned it's the most overrated piece of vinyl ever released. I also love all the bloated, pseudo-intellectualized analysis put forth in an effort to legitimize the worth of this over produced mass of noise. The final insult is that real rock groups like the Stones wasted time, effort, and my money trying to immitate it rather than dismissing it as the flash in the pan, "latest thing", tortured opus that it actually represents in the continum of rock music.”

The Doors – Doors – 2 Star Review:  “The Doors made a beautiful noise, but Jim Morrison was perhaps the most pretentious person ever to have lived, and his presence ruins the proceedings. He has been made into a god by the faceless rock followers who worship his preening and semi-mythological, pedestrian psychological constructs, but in fact he was an almost talentless lyricist and a very limited vocalist to say the least. Take this band right out of the so-called "Rock n Roll Pantheon," and put them straight into the gutter where they belong. A sort of sixties Duran Duran.”

Bob Marley – Exodus – 2 Star Review: “Some of Bob Marley's tunes are all right, but too many of his lyrics are preachy and -- let's face it -- downright absurd. Do YOU think the West is Babylon or that Ethiopia's Halle Selassie (!) is God? All in all, Jamaica's best musician remains Noel Coward, even if he didn't start there.”

Chuck Berry – Chuck Berry Definitive Collection – 1 Star Review: “Yawn..doze...fart ...yawn......Hello World, What to expect: Same exact chords and tempo with slight change in beat for every single song! Really tryed to like this guy but...NO THANKS. Never understood why he made it so far. Sigh..........

Janis Joplin – Janis Joplin’s Greatest Hits – 1 Star Review:  “Ah..."Pearl" by Janis Jopplin! Only in the 60s could an unstable drug addict and alcoholic calling herself "Pearl" screech her way to the status of superstar. Janis Joplin was a TERRIBLE singer! She couldn't sing at all, all she could do was squawk the lyrics in that raspy voice of hers. And although Ms. Joplin's singing voice was frightening to listen to, I still actually enjoy her music for the sheer comedic value. Hearing Janis wheeze and croak her way through the dreadful "Me and Bobby McGee" like some dimented frog is actually FUNNY because its just so amusingly bad. Janis Joplin sounded more like a drug addicted frog with no talent whatsoever. Terrible, just terrible...”